Well, today is my 5th wedding anniversary. And yeah, even though the marriage is dead and has been for three years, it's still going to be a bit of a rough day for me. Good thing I have to work, huh?
The reason it's hitting me hard is that this was our "special" year. We had planned to have our church ceremony this year, with our son standing at the altar with us, celebrating our love. Well, you see how that turned out. I'm not sad because of what I've lost...I'm sad for what was supposed to be. Perhaps if we were actually divorced, today wouldn't bother me, but I think because we're still married, it does. More than likely because this "marriage" is what's keeping me from moving on with anyone else like I want....and I can't even celebrate the damn thing.
Then, to top it off, my daily Bible reading for today was this:
So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. [Colossians 1:9]
Message received, God.
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