Enough!

So, after 3 years and a lot of being bullied and pushed around, I've FINALLY reached my limit.

I DESERVE happiness. And where everyone I know got the idea that I should be miserable is beyond me, but honestly, I'm tired of it.  I'm tired of every time I start to feel happy, someone feels the need to bust me down. I'm a good woman. I don't deserve any of the crap I've endured for the past 3 years, but I've taken it. And gracefully, I might add.

I'm not going to continue to be tied to a boy that can't even acknowledge his own biological child but will gladly acknowledge a kid that's not even his.  The "benefits" aren't worth it. This feeling of spinning my wheels isn't worth it. I want to love and be loved and I can't do that while still legally married. So, despite my mother's objections, I am ending this farce of a marriage ASAP. I don't want anything from him except for my car (it's still in his name) and child support. Let me keep full custody and I won't ever bother him. He can be free to destroy his life an I'll be free to finally find mine.

My job is a joke. While I love what I do, my supervisor is a complete and total waste of space. And since corporate seems to embrace this ideal, I've taken my "complaints" to another level. Now, I am simply just gathering evidence and when the time is right, I'll do what's needed. Until then, I just grin and bear it. I'm like a ninja-strike when you're most vulnerable.

I'm also looking to give Roscoe away. It's tearing me up, but I look at my sweet puppy and I realize that being stuck in my mom's backyard isn't the life for him. He was making improvement, but now he seems to have plateaued. He's still not where she will let him in the house and he's not meant to be an outside dog. He's a people dog...a family dog. So I'm researching right now to see if I can find a reputable place that cares for special needs animals.

Other than that, still looking to fix my room (or move out) and...yeah. Nothing in this house is going to change. My family seems to thrive on dysfunction. Not me, I want out. I want to live.