Because every princess deserves a Marine...

The newest drama with my job: I had to call out sick today because I have no babysitter for my son.  Well, someone made an assumption that I was going to call out based off of a joke made by my other co-worker and "alerted" my boss.  So, at 11, when I texted her to tell her I couldn't work, she tells me that I'm required to find my own coverage. Never, in ANY of the facilities that I've worked at, have I been required to find my own coverage when I've called out sick.

She then tells me, "Well, you knew you were going to call out, so it is your responsibility to find coverage.  I can't work because I have overtime and the other PRNs are working tomorrow. You will have to work." Um...no I don't.  I told you TWO MONTHS AGO that I couldn't work this shift anymore and you've ignored me and continued to schedule me for it! When my mom told me last night that they couldn't watch my son and I needed to find a sitter, my only option was to call out sick because everyone that I trust that I could ask is busy. (One of the girls in our hula group is having a graduation party tonight and they're all dancing.) I can't leave my two year old with just anyone, nor can I leave him alone!

So, there's only one employee that overheard the joking comment (My co-worker was joking that she might call out today because she was tired and when she left this morning said that she'd see me next week...) and so that narrows it down as to who could have "snitched" on me.  The only thing stopping me from going in and punching the woman in the face is the fact that I do love my job (most days) and don't want charges filed against me.

So, after calling the on-site supervisor and letting it ALL spill out, I am waiting for a call back from my corporate supervisor. It has been two months that I've been fighting with this schedule and six months that I've been fighting about the worthless co-worker that I have.  I'm tired of sending e-mails to my lead supervisor and them going nowhere.  I'm tired of having to do twice as much work as everyone else because I actually CARE about how the unit works and everyone else is just taking up space and collecting a paycheck.

I have bent over backwards for my supervisor.  I've come in on a moment's notice and worked 12 hour night shifts, I've come in and covered shifts when people had to be sent home, I've picked up the slack where she won't regarding the other employee because if not, the unit suffers and I'd get reprimanded anyway.  And this is how I'm rewarded? As it stands, I'll probably have to go in to work and leave my son with someone I don't trust, or have my parents take him and cause all kinds of tension in the house...again.  As much as I love this job, it isn't worth this.

I plan on letting it all out when I talk to my corporate supervisor.  I plan on letting her know about the full-time position I was offered and had taken away.  I plan on letting her know about people playing on Facebook when they're not supposed to. I plan on letting her know just how lazy some people are and how many breaks they take and how the rest of us get shafted because we don't smoke. My supervisor has let our ER go to crap and I'm tired of it.  That's MY ER.  It's where I go for emergency treatment.  Where my family goes, where my son goes for treatment.  I won't accept anything but the best for them and I give nothing less than my best.  Why can't everyone else?

I'll update more once I have some resolution.

So, I've never laughed so hard at anything in my life.  "The Rapture."  Really? 

From Religious Tolerance on the Rapture:

Unfortunately, the Bible is ambiguous about exactly when the rapture will occur. Most believers in the rapture suggest that it will happen just before the expected seven-year Tribulation -- a time of great suffering, instability, the devastating War of Armageddon, and the largest genocide that the world has ever seen. Some suggest that it will happen just after the Tribulation when Jesus finally returns to Earth.

Harold Camping, President of Family Stations Inc -- a.k.a. Family Radio -- predicted that "we can know from the Bible alone that the date of the rapture of believers would take place on 2011-MAY-21.

His previous estimate was 1994-SEP-06 which appears to have failed. If it had succeeded, it would have been obvious to us all. At that time, some of his followers gathered around dressed in their Sunday best and carrying their Bibles open to the sky, but were disappointed when Jesus was a no-show.

His reasoning for this new date is as follows:

• "The number 5 ... equals "atonement." 10 is "completeness." 17 means "heaven." 5 x 10 x 17 = 850.
• (850) x (850) = 722,500. This can be interpreted as: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.
• Camping believes that Christ was executed on 33-APR-01. The interval from that date to 2011-APR-01 is exactly 1,978 years.
• 1,978 multiplied by 365.2422 days (the average number of days in each solar year) = 722,449 days.
• Adding 51 days brings the total days since Jesus' execution to: 722,500. This will occur on 2011-MAY-21.

Unfortunately, there is no consensus on the date of Jesus' execution by the Roman occupation army during the first century CE. Dates range from the year 29 to 33. However, if Camping's computational process is correct but is based on the wrong year, then the date for the rapture might have already passed.
Camping said: "Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story. It's the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you're completely saved."

Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.  There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. [John 14:1-3]

Then I saw heaven opened, and a white horse was standing there. Its rider was named Faithful and True, for he judges fairly and wages a righteous war. His eyes were like flames of fire, and on his head were many crowns. A name was written on him that no one understood except himself.  He wore a robe dipped in blood, and his title was the Word of God. The armies of heaven, dressed in the finest of pure white linen, followed him on white horses. From his mouth came a sharp sword to strike down the nations. He will rule them with an iron rod. He will release the fierce wrath of God, the Almighty, like juice flowing from a winepress. On his robe at his thigh was written this title: King of all kings and Lord of all lords. Then I saw an angel standing in the sun, shouting to the vultures flying high in the sky: “Come! Gather together for the great banquet God has prepared. [Revelation 19:11-17]

Well, it was very quickly brought to my attention that my opinion/presence does not bear much weight in this household at all.  It just seems that the past three years of my life have been nothing but a beat down.  I just feel stuck, like I'm wading in quicksand with no relief in sight.

Seriously, basically thrown away by my "husband" and forced to give birth alone, then treated like the red-headed stepchild in my family just put the icing onto the cake. (Ironically, I am kind of a red-headed stepchild...) The only bright spot in my life is my son.  Knowing that he loves me is really the only thing that keeps me going anymore. While I love my job, what it's become is just depressing and sad.

Let's not even get into the home life. That in itself, is just non-existent.  I seriously feel like Cinderella waiting for her prince to show up...except I can't help but wonder if I won't push him away.  After all, I am still tied down to the moron I was dumb enough to marry and I'm just STUCK. I can only hope that I can be freed from the binds of matrimony sometime soon. (I have a feeling, deep down, that it won't end the way I think it will...)

School.....yeah.  I want to apply to a nursing program, but that requires me to get my CNA first.  There's a program here that allows you to get your CNA-I in three weeks, but you either have to do Monday-Friday class/clinicals, or online classes and clinicals all day Saturday and Sunday. Problem is, I've been stuck on this redonkulous Thursday-Saturday night shift for 4 months and I don't seem to be able to get off of it...unless I quit my job.  So again...I'm stuck.

Got my tax return back a few weeks ago...the $3,533 that I was supposed to get?  Yeah, I got $800 of it.  Why, you ask?  Well, because my STAR card needed paid off.  My "husband" was supposed to take care of that...he didn't.  Instead, they withheld my tax return to pay for it.  So there went my nest egg.

I just want to move on with my life! I want to move into a field that I love (I love medicine/helping people get better) and be able to provide for my son without having to depend on someone else for help.  As a nurse, I can easily do that.  I want my own home where I can do what I want and feel free.  I'm tired of feeling like I'm in a prison and shackled to this depressing house. I want to feel like I'm 28, with my whole life ahead of me instead of constantly feeling defeated and like I'm going nowhere.

I want to be able to post a blog that's not depressing....