The Rapture.

So, I've never laughed so hard at anything in my life.  "The Rapture."  Really? 

From Religious Tolerance on the Rapture:

Unfortunately, the Bible is ambiguous about exactly when the rapture will occur. Most believers in the rapture suggest that it will happen just before the expected seven-year Tribulation -- a time of great suffering, instability, the devastating War of Armageddon, and the largest genocide that the world has ever seen. Some suggest that it will happen just after the Tribulation when Jesus finally returns to Earth.

So....who was the genius that predicted that the Rapture was supposed to happen yesterday?  Oh wait, they can answer that too.

Harold Camping, President of Family Stations Inc -- a.k.a. Family Radio -- predicted that "we can know from the Bible alone that the date of the rapture of believers would take place on 2011-MAY-21.

His previous estimate was 1994-SEP-06 which appears to have failed. If it had succeeded, it would have been obvious to us all. At that time, some of his followers gathered around dressed in their Sunday best and carrying their Bibles open to the sky, but were disappointed when Jesus was a no-show.

And...how he came to this conclusion:

His reasoning for this new date is as follows:

• "The number 5 ... equals "atonement." 10 is "completeness." 17 means "heaven." 5 x 10 x 17 = 850.
• (850) x (850) = 722,500. This can be interpreted as: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.
• Camping believes that Christ was executed on 33-APR-01. The interval from that date to 2011-APR-01 is exactly 1,978 years.
• 1,978 multiplied by 365.2422 days (the average number of days in each solar year) = 722,449 days.
• Adding 51 days brings the total days since Jesus' execution to: 722,500. This will occur on 2011-MAY-21.

Unfortunately, there is no consensus on the date of Jesus' execution by the Roman occupation army during the first century CE. Dates range from the year 29 to 33. However, if Camping's computational process is correct but is based on the wrong year, then the date for the rapture might have already passed.
Camping said: "Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story. It's the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you're completely saved."

So if he was wrong the first time, WHY BELIEVE HIM AGAIN?  Are people really that stupid? Here, let me multiply and add a whole bunch of numbers together and I'LL tell you when Jesus is coming again.  Who'd believe me?  I'm as devout a follower of God's teaching as most...why wouldn't my prediction be valid?  Dingbat.

Oh wait.  Maybe that's because the book of John, where Jesus tells his disciples he's coming again...HE NEVER LISTS A DATE.

Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.  There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. [John 14:1-3]

Then I saw heaven opened, and a white horse was standing there. Its rider was named Faithful and True, for he judges fairly and wages a righteous war. His eyes were like flames of fire, and on his head were many crowns. A name was written on him that no one understood except himself.  He wore a robe dipped in blood, and his title was the Word of God. The armies of heaven, dressed in the finest of pure white linen, followed him on white horses. From his mouth came a sharp sword to strike down the nations. He will rule them with an iron rod. He will release the fierce wrath of God, the Almighty, like juice flowing from a winepress. On his robe at his thigh was written this title: King of all kings and Lord of all lords. Then I saw an angel standing in the sun, shouting to the vultures flying high in the sky: “Come! Gather together for the great banquet God has prepared. [Revelation 19:11-17]

Good grief is all I have to say. When the time is right, Jesus will come and then we'll know.  Not before.  So why not try to live each day to the fullest and enjoy all the things you've been blessed with already?