How often do you sit around and really try to get to know yourself? I never really thought about it until that day, three years ago, when my world was turned upside down and everything I knew was suddenly gone. I was about to give birth to my first child, and completely alone. I didn't have anything to stand on, I realized, because in the 5 years that my husband and I had been together, I had completely lost sight of who I was and had become so focused on being his perfect wife.
I had a few hobbies, but nothing that I really could say I enjoyed. Sure, I had the forum, but that really was it. I had nothing else. Three years later, I find myself at that same point. My true friends have stuck by me through all of this, but I've had quite a few fairweather friends come and go too. I used to be a woman that loved to write, dabbled in drawing (bridges are my specialty), loved to read, and of course computers and video games.
Now, I don't really do anything except work, clean, and take care of my son. I used to do graphic design, but up until the past few days, I couldn't even tell you when the last time I opened Photoshop was....good question. I've let myself get so caught up in everything that I lost sight of who I was...again.
I've decided not to do that. That's the main reason I started this blog. Well, that and to have a place where I can just let it all out. I can't use Facebook for that...my family and my in-laws are on there and it's too much of a hassle to make it so they can't see it. Can't use the board or Plurk...no one there really seems to care. So, I've settled on this. Whether or not people read it is no longer a concern to me, I just want a place where I can be free to basically splash my word vomit and feel comfortable doing it.
I may even get froggy enough to continue working on the book I started all the way back in 8th grade. Yeah, I still have the drafts and the idea. I've gotta finish the other projects I've started first though. Then it's back to restoring me. I miss me.
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